Submariner’s Prayer

In the beginning there was a word; and the word was God.  All else was darkness and void without form. So God created the heavens and the earth. He created the sun and the moon and the stars, so that light may pierce the darkness.  The earth, God divided between the land and the sea and these He filled with many assorted creatures.

The dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the seashore He called Royal Marines and He dressed them accordingly.  The flighty creatures of the air He called Airy Fairies and these He clothed in uniforms which were ruffled and foul. These creatures were not over popular, as their droppings fell on the earth below, but God forgave them because as He said, they knoweth not what they do.

The lower creatures of the sea, God called Skimmers, and with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humour that only He could have, God gave them big grey targets to go to sea in. He gave them very many splendid uniforms to wear. He gave them wonderful and exotic places to visit.  He gave them pen and paper so that they might write home every weekand He gave them make and mends at sea. He also gave them a laundry that they might keep their splendid uniforms clean. When you are God you tend to get carried away.

On the seventh day as you know God rested and on the eighth day at 0700Z God looked down upon the earth and God was not a Happy God.

So he thought about His labours and with His infinite wisdom, God created a divine creature, and this divine creature he called a Submariner. And these Submariners whom God created in His own image, were to be of the Deep.  He gave a white woolly jumper to keep them warm.  He gave them black steel messengers of death to roam the depths of the seas, waging war against the forces of Satan and evil.  He gave them hotels to welcome them when the grew weary of doing Gods will. He gave them subsistence that they may entertain the ladies on nights ashore and impress the hell out of the creatures called Skimmers.

At the end of the eighth day God looked down upon the earth and saw that all was well.  But still God was not happy, because, in the course of His labours, He had forgotten one thing.  He had not given Himself a Submariners white woolly jumper.  He thought long and hard and finally satisfied his mind . . .

. . . . .  .not just anybody can be a Submariner !!

Nothing I can add to this.

As you were.

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