The BBE!

Ok… Informally, I am now in search of the Best Burger Ever! Here after referred to as the BBE. My friend Becky and I were discussing it tonight at… Yes the Red Pony…

What could possibly constitute the BBE? Well, inarguably it must start with the “burger” part, the meat. So, it should be high quality meat. Not too fatty, and not too lean. Bison is a good choice, or good lean beef. Here is a very important part… It must be hand patted! And the thickness of the patty is important during the cooking phase. The meat must be cooked to temperature. So the thickness of the patty not only determines the quality of the burger, but the cook should be able to handle the patty (So to speak). Also the patty shouldn’t be too round, because it will be more difficult to situate the dressings. Me myself, I don’t want to patty to be too thick, but if you have the hand-patted quality, and a reasonable thickness then I’m good. Ok enough of that part. Now for the dressings, lettuce, pickle, tomato, onion are the standard. You can choose which. But the tomato should NOT have a big core in the slice. It should be a nice center cut slice. Also, the onion should not be too thick, the thicker the “solid” parts of the dressing, the more it will slide off the burger. Remember the geometry of the burger? This is important, gotta have a good foundation, the better the foundation the better layout for the dressings. Concerning the bun, I think personal preference may play a big part here: do you want your bun toasted; Do you want your bun buttered and grilled; Or just a big soft fresh bun? I think we can all agree that we all want to start with a very fresh bun. So, the bun has to be able to hold the whole thing together. Now if the constituent parts are too greasy, and all that, then it’s all gonna be a soggy mess. But if you are like me and you like your burgers medium rare, then stand by for a bit of a juicy item. It just can’t fall apart… Immediately! Yeah half way through or more, you may be picking up bits with your for, but that’s part of the delight.

So, here are (in my opinion) the qualities of a BBE:
* Quality meat
* Hand patted
* Large enough, and patted well enough patty to be a proper foundation for the dressings.
* Fresh dressings
* Center cut of tomato (no big tough core)
* No too thick cut of onion
* Lettuce leave not too large, and very green, not brown at all
* Bun, no matter how it is prepared/presented is fresh
* Over all presentation of the burger at serving is juicy enough, but not soggy. (mileage WILL vary)

“I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good god almighty which way do I steer for my… Cheeseburger in paradise!”
— Jimmy Buffett

Comments, while must be approved, are appreciated.

As you were.

2 responses to “The BBE!”

  1. MMMMM… Burgers….

    A good hamburger is a GREAT thing.

    Growing up, my father was a butcher and often he would bring home “old meat” that was going to be thrown out, or deeply discounted.

    It is THIS frogs opinion that not only should the beef be lean, but should be aged. Of course being aged, may require cooking it past medium well.

    These of course are all personal preferences. But this is coming from someone that eats fly’s.

    Frog out.

  2. I agree with several of your premises. However, as a former vegetarian and a lover of a good veggie burger, I have to put in my two cents on the issue of the tomato slice. Certainly, a slice without a crunchy core is preferable, but, cover your ears, boys, (or cover your boys’ ears), I have to say it: Size matters. And it’s all about a thick slice. If the burger is juicy and dripping, that juicy drip needs to be tomato-y.

    Also, the mayo needs to take a back seat and let the mustard do its thing with the pickles and the onion.

    Now, about the hand-shaped patty. That is a crucial requirement. A fast food hamburger is not really a hamburger. It’s a different genus all together. We need to get the word out to our brothers and sisters in foreign lands not to judge a burger by the franchises that waste space in their locales.

    On another topic, the burger can be enhanced or diminished by the quality of the accompanying fries. Technically, it would be ones appreciation of the burger that would wax and wane. Call me a heretic, but I swear the burger itself suffers if you cozy it up to some inferior fries. The fries need to be hot and salty. Give me a side of French’s mustard, and I’m good to go!

    Another often ill considered defining property of burger enjoyment is the quality of the accompanist. A good burger is meant to be eaten in the company of a fellow burger enthusiast. It’s a celebration of an American obsession, deserving of fellowship. If the first bite of the burger makes you open your eyes so wide that your eyebrows rise and you point to heaven, somebody needs to be across the table chewing blissfully, too.

    If you need guidance on who a worthy accompanist would be, then I have failed miserably.

    That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

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